Newsletter February 11
Thank you so much for your feedback on last month’s topic. Your feedback suggests that there are mixed views on whether or not it makes sense to share resolutions of any kind. On one hand, sharing can add an additional incentive and provide some much needed support and on the other, it can demotivate and cause you to question your judgement. You will know what approach tends to work best for you so go with your instinct. Please continue to let me know your thoughts it is wonderful to know my tips they are provoking discussion. This month’s topic is Dealing with Change which is also the subject of my new book called ‘Letting Go’. For more information on the book see further on in this newsletter.
Dealing with Change
Change is part of life, but sudden imposed changes can leave us feeling lost and uncertain. To deal effectively with the change that is happening we must acknowledge and accept what we are experiencing. This will help us to cope, learn and grow. Pretending that nothing affects us tends to be a fool hardy strategy and usually prolongs our discomfort and uncertainty, preventing us from functioning at our best. If you are experiencing any sort of imposed change right now, the tips below might help.
1. It is OK to feel this way
Change happens and things will never be the same. The biggest step you can take on your change journey is to accept how you feel and be gentle on yourself. All feelings are valid and completely normal.
Tell yourself quietly ‘it is OK for me to feel this way’.
2. Express your feelings
Bottling up your feelings is likely to make you feel worse, for longer, as your body has a habit of speaking it’s mind!
Try writing down what you are feeling right now – scribble if you want to – you can be as honest as you wish as these are your own private thoughts.
3. Reconnect with yourself
The emotions of change can make us feel lost and detached. The best way to alleviate these feelings is to find ways of reconnecting with yourself.
Find a special place where you feel comfortable to take time out. Notice the colours, the sounds , the tastes, the smells and the feel of your surroundings.
Try sitting still in this place and feel your feet on the floor and your bottom on the seat. Take deep, slow breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth and say to yourself ‘I am here’.
4. Take care of yourself
Recovering from change is like recovering from an illness , you need to take care of yourself to get better. The journey can be long and can take it’s toll.
Regular exercise, even just walking, will relieve stress, tension and improve your overall mood. Eat a balanced, healthy diet , drink plenty of water and allow yourself to get enough sleep.
5. Accept the help of others
Spend time with people who energise you and avoid those who do not. You are the most important person right now.
6. Lighten your load
During periods of change and uncertainty we often carry a sense of pride or duty that makes us feel we have to behave in a particular way. We feel that if we don’t keep this up, we will somehow be letting ourselves or others down.
Give yourself permission to let go regularly and notice how much better you feel. Crying, shouting and even screaming will allow your body to release tension.
7. Say what you need to say
When imposed changes hit there are often things that we wished we had said and done differently. It is never too late to put this right.
Write a letter saying all the things you wanted to say and do. Imagine the person listening and understanding as you read the letter out loud to them.
8. Find opportunities to laugh
Laughter has an amazing ability to heal us. The process of laughter releases our stress and produces endorphins that make us feel good. It is important to make time for guilt-free laughter and smiles.
9. Take one step at a time
Give yourself the time to progress slowly. Taking even a tiny step forward will make you feel so much better. Keep noticing the progress you are making. Don’t judge it, just notice it.
10. Know that you will find new strength
Try to look back on the good things and know that your journey through these changes is helping you to grow stronger and wiser.
Let me know what you try and how it works. I’d also love to know other tips that have worked for you on the subject of change.
Highlights from this month
Personal Effectiveness workshop
Andy Watkin and I ran a three hour Personal Effectiveness workshop as part of a departmental offsite meeting for 130 people. The workshop was very interactive and extremely well received. The team exercises were based on the themes in my ‘Being Effective’ book. If you would like more information on running such an event in your organisation please contact us.
I ran several successful and enjoyable Resilience workshops for groups of 12 people in a multinational organisation. The workshops were an hour long and explored the themes in my ‘Being Resilient’ Book. If you would like more information on any of our Resilience workshops please contact us.
New Leader Coaching
We are Coaching several new leaders helping them to develop confidence in their own leadership style. The coaching is available both face-to-face and via telephone or skype. If you would like to discuss Coaching for yourself or a member of your organisation please contact us.
The Association for Coaching has introduced a new assessment programme for Coaches and I’m delighted to be part of the Assessment Team. I attended a training event in London to review the programme and to practice assessing applications through the new scheme. I’m very keen to do all I can to keep improving the standards in Coaching and meetings with the Association are always a great opportunity to learn from other talented Coaches.
My new book is ready – hurray The book is called ‘Letting Go’ and explores the journey of change, how far you are along on your journey and gives ideas for things you can do to help you to begin to ‘letting go’ of the past and begin to focus on the future (some of which I’ve shared with you in this month’s featured topic). The book is picture based (like the others) but features a slightly different character and a slightly different picture style. I hope you like it. If you’d like a copy of the book at a reduce price of £4.00 please let me know, the promotional price will be available for a limited period.
Highlights next month
Next month we’ll be running a Team Diagnostic for a Finance Team and designing a Team Intervention. We’ll also be facilitating a workshop of Dealing with Change based on themes from my new book ‘Letting Go’.
The featured topic next month will contine the change theme and will be Leading through Change. I hope you’ve enjoyed this newsletter, if you have please forward on to friends or colleagues.
Leadership and Team Coach
Pelican Coaching & Development